Read them carefully and you’ll understand a foreign language

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. – Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse – Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high – No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach – Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table – Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift – Chin Tu Fat

It’s very dark in here – Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? – Hao Long Wei Ting

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet – Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. – No Pah King

You are not very bright – Yu So Dum

I got this for free – Ai No Pei

I am not guilty – Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer – Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week – Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived – Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight – Lei Lo

He’s cleaning his automobile – Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

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A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

‘Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more! .
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.’

The lady can’t take this any more,

‘You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,’ she retorted indignantly.

‘In this country. we don’t speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives.

‘Hey, coola down lady,’ said the man.

‘Who talkin’abouta sex? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell ‘ Mississippi ‘.’

$5.00 says you’re gonna read this again! : )

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10 Things To Do At a Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
5. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
6. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from “Mission Impossible.”
7. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels
8. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “NO! NO! It’s those voices again.” …..and last but not least,
10. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, “Hey! We’re out of toilet paper in here!”